A TOAST TO CALLAN
One day while undressing
I let out a yelp
My body was dropping
I needed help!
Bulging and cellulite
Clothes couldn't hide
I started to panic
Then tried exercise
Yoga, gymnastics
A flying trapeze
Stretches and crunches
And bending my knees
But my hips got no smaller
My waist wasn't thin
My only beauty
Came from within
Then along came a gal
With a shape so fantastic
Her body was firm
And her muscles elastic
She studied me sadly
And before I could speak
She offered to teach me
Her method unique
She said there was hope
For my thighs that were sagging
My boobs that were drooping
My butt that was dragging
She swore if I worked hard
I'd soon look like she did
Her specialized movements
Were just what I needed
She guided me expertly
It was amazing
Within a short time
My whole body was raising
Now I'm trim and ecstatic
My whole life has changed
If it weren't for Callan,
I'd be deranged!
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MOTHER'S DAY TRIBUTE
With Mother's Day upon us
I've been thinking of days gone by
Trying to finally come to terms
With who I am and why
Now please don't think I'm bragging
When I say I've turned out okay
Having a special mother
Helped me not to go astray
Mom was a big strong lady
As wide as she was tall
Devoted to her family
Though she loved me best of all.
She cooked, she cleaned, she nurtured
I had it made at home
And saw no earthly reason
To get a place of my own
Harsh words were never spoken
In her eyes I could do no wrong
What were the odds a woman like Mom
Would ever come along?
And yet by some great miracle
One night I met Marie
In less than sixty minutes
I knew she was meant for me
I still congratulate myself
For the common sense I had
To choose a gal just like the one
That married dear old Dad.
Marie took on the challenge
When Mom handed her the reins
She's brought out the best in me
With her people skills and brains
The love of two strong women
Is what's gotten me this far
They even had the power
To turn me into a star!
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