We all know rhyming poems are perfect for celebrations, but it turns out people send them for very personal reasons as well. Like the woman who got one from her husband. It was so eloquent she couldn’t believe he’d written it himself. After all, he was no poet.
BETRAYAL OR A CRY FOR HELP
But the details were so accurate! He must have described their sex life to a third party. There was no one who could rhyme in their circle, so she at least took some comfort in thinking he must have gone to a stranger. Still, it was humiliating. Imagine sharing your most intimate secrets with someone who writes rhyming poems for a living.
PROFESSIONALS DON’T GOSSIP
She prayed such ghostwriters had a fiduciary agreement with their clients, kind of like a priest or rabbi. Sort of like “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.” Later on, when the dust settled, my friend’s husband assured her that privacy was not an issue and she had nothing to worry about. The writer didn’t even know her name.
WHEN IT’S YOUR SEX LIFE
What she was really mortified about was the issue her husband had such trouble raising to her face. Not that she blamed him. It was an unspoken problem that was ruining their marriage. It was their sex life. At least he cared enough to try to fix things between them.
LOVE, MARRIAGE, BABY
In clever rhyme the poem outlined how hot they’d been for each other from the moment they met. They moved in together in college and couldn’t keep their hands off each other. After graduation they married. Enjoyed a delicious honeymoon in the Caribbean. Moved into their first real apartment where he carried her over the threshold. Their relationship was sexy and romantic as could be. Even her pregnancy barely slowed them down. Then came their perfect, adorable baby.
WHAT SLEEP DEPRIVATION CAN DO
That’s when everything began to change. But who had time to talk about it? She was exhausted and sleep deprived and he apparently felt so neglected he had to turn to someone who wrote rhyming poems. Her sweet, dear husband didn’t want to complain to her face. He thought a carefully crafted rhyme would soften his accusations that she wasn’t interested in him anymore. She had to take comfort in that.
SAVE SOME LOVE FOR DADDY
But the facts where the facts. He thought she had stopped wanting him and only had eyes for the new
baby. She lovingly held it in her arms all evening, professing her undying love. Pointing out each perfect little feature. Kissing tiny hands and feet while rebuffing even the slightest advance from hubby. It was as though he counted for nothing anymore. It was all about the baby. Now the poor guy felt unloved and unwanted, to the point where he had to spill his gut to someone who wrote rhyming poems.
YOU COULD END UP A SINGLE MOM
Being a new mom was the thrill of a lifetime. But this custom-written rhyme, though softening the blow of his bitterness, was a blow just the same. It was a real wake up call. If she didn’t adjust her priorities
to make time for romance, the man she adored could slip away from her. In the end she had to admit her hubby had done a very wise thing. He had tackled the elephant in the room in the most tactful way
possible and she happily worked on making the necessary changes. She never wanted to get one of these
rhyming poems ever again. Or worse.